Someone You Know Emailed this to Me

Ikea has announced its intention to take over General Motors and sell cars with value pricing.  Some assembly will be required.

Batteries and tools not included.

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You have seen the new Smart car.

If not, below is a snap shot of the Smart Car next to a Suburban.

Further below are images of of where this fuel economy minded trend is headed.

Get your orders in early!

The Smart Car and the Suburban

Smorche

Smamborghini

Smaudi A3 AWD

Smerrari

smarvette

Smustang

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This guy writes in saying;

I just bought a new boat and decided to take it for the maiden voyage this past weekend.
This is my first boat and I wasn’t quite sure of the exact Standard Operating Procedures for launching it off a ramp, but I figured it couldn’t be too hard.

I consulted my local boat dealer for advice, but they just said “don’t let the trailer get too deep when you are trying to launch the boat”.

What am I doing wrong? Well, I don’t know what they meant by that as I could barely get the trailer in the water at all!

Anyhow, here’s a picture below. See for yourself. What am I doing wrong?

Don't put the trailor all the way in the water! Got it? The Engine?

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I got stopped for speeding yesterday.

I thought I might talk my way out of the ticket,

until the Police officer notice my dog in the back seat!

[

Too fast for this puppy!

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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
– Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
– Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
– Camille, age 10

from George Eastman House

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
– Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don’t want any more kids.
– Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
– Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
– Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
– Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they’re rich.
– Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
– Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
– Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
– Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
– Kelvin, age 8

And The #1 Response Was…

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
– Ricky, age 10

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